Category Archives: opaque

Don’t worry, I don’t get it either.

It isn’t you, it’s me…

People don’t do things because of who we are, they do them because of who they are. 

“Hey baby, I want to get back together…” more often than not means “look, I knew how to manage you and it was a comfortable place for me to be.  Since we broke up I’ve been out in the world and been in at least one relationship where I didn’t feel like I was in control and it sucked and I’m feeling kind of bruised, so what I’m going to do here is call up my favorite kite* and tell you how much I miss you and what a mistake I made in leaving you.  And then you are going to say “ok” because I left you and that made you feel out of control and this is your opportunity to make a choice in the situation.  We’ll get back together for as long as it takes all the things that I broke up with you over before to irritate the shit out of me, or until I feel sufficiently salved or until you realize that it wasn’t all that great and the girl you left hanging to think this through was actually much easier on your ego, your wallet, and your bullshit detector.  Thanks.”

I’m just saying.  It looks like it is about you and how wonderful you are.  It sounds like it is about you and how wonderful you are.  It feels like it is about you and how wonderful you are.  It is actually about her and wrapping her bruises up in the salve of being able to make you come when she calls. 

For your sake, I hope I’m wrong.  Meanwhile, I’ll be listening to Gomez.

but really…

I’d call and let you know, but really…  your sympathy would be cheapened by the crisis and any contact you might have as a result would be clearly more trouble than it is worth.

an explanation for everything

“You do not have to be good.  You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.  You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.”  –Mary Oliver

now and again

All the leaves I came to love, oh you know that breaks my heart.

All my dreams were here. You know that breaks my heart.

(Please.)

good advice

when you find yourself in a hole you can’t get out of, stop digging.

Question

When was the last time your religion gave you joy?  Inexplicable, all encompassing, joy?

sacked

over use of LOL will do that.

suspense

I feel like I’m waiting for something to happen, but I don’t know what.  Obviously that will occur whether I want it to or not, but it’s not the event that I feel like I’m waiting for.

And no herons yet today, but I got two yesterday.

keep it

keep it to yourself.

Es.

is it over yet?

Why do I feel like this is all a test, and once I just prove that I can shut up, or be patient, or survive, or go under water for long enough then I will be proven worthy and I can go back to my regularly scheduled programming.

It would be different, if it weren’t a question of alchemy.  But it is.  And I am stuck.